Friday, September 5, 2014

What are you hungry for?

What are you hungry for when you don't know what you are hungry for?
Remember that line from a TV commercial for a candy bar... it always stuck with me.  Pops into my head now and then... especially when combing the kitchen for something - but never quite sure what I am looking for.

There were times before I started eating gluten free that I was hungry ALL the time!  No sooner did I eat, I was ravenous again.  My blood sugar had crazy swings.  That persistent, constant hunger straightened out once my digestive system healed.

Then when my daughter was young and I was going on fumes (colic, sleepless nights, business travel, daily commuting) and had very little time for myself - I found I was self-soothing by eating.  And, as she got older I continued to do it.  It was my new habit. 

Snacking but without real satisfaction. No matter what I ate, I always had that nagging feeling I wanted something else.

It was a slow realization that it wasn't really food I was looking for.  My soul was hungry.  I wasn't taking enough time for self-care as I put my family first.  When I did that I was left with not enough for anyone... and forever feeling hungry.

When I made more time for running, meditating, and art (for the pure joy of it) the constant search for a satisfying snack disappeared.  In fact, most times when I am painting there is no hunger and I actually forget to eat. 

What are you hungry for? really hungry for?

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